


You'd Send Away the Ghosts that Haunt Me Now

by libraryseraph



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 00:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8511184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libraryseraph/pseuds/libraryseraph
Summary: There are nights when all my aching bones won't let me sleepAnd demons come to plague me as I lie in bedBut I know if you were sleeping there beside me thenThat you could fend them off and they would let me rest Anders and Hawke look after each other





	

Dark.  
It's too dark and too close, and too cold. The narrow walls press in on Anders on all sides, muffling his screams and movements.  
"Let me out!" He screams, banging his fists on the metal door. No noise reverberates from his weak blows. "Please!"  
The walls are moving closer, threatening to crush him. His words break into the keening of a trapped animal. He can't think can't move can't breathe-  
"Anders!"  
Suddenly light breaks over him. There's warmth, and touch. He pushes into the callused, gentle hands tracing his face, and sobs. Strong arms wrap around Anders, and he's pulled close against a warm form. Large warm hands trace gentle circles into his back and shoulders, soft and soothing. Anders sobs, loud and juddering. He tries to stop, to catch his breath, but he can't. Someone is making soft wordless noises, soothing him. He's being moved, shifted onto a warm lap. Anders pushes himself into the touch. He wants the warmth of touch everywhere on his body.  
"Anders?" The voice is deep, gentle and concerned. Anders takes a deep breath, that shudders and catches in his throat.  
"...Hawke?" His thrumming pulse is slowing, and Hawke's warmth is grounding him, chasing away the nightmare. He blinks away tears. Hawke's face is outlined by the dim light of the fire, strong jawed and dark skinned.  
"You're safe." One hand moves up and runs through Anders' hair. Anders frees one arm and drapes it over Hawke's broad shoulders. "I won't let anyone hurt you." Hawke always states those things with unshakeable confidence, as if they were undeniable fact.  
Anders smiles weakly. "Thank you, love."  
Hawke makes a confirmatory noise, and pulls Anders closer to his chest. "Was it solitary again?"  
Anders nods, and shudders at the memories. It's easier to talk now, to leave those things behind, cradled in Hawke's arms with one thumb rubbing gentle circles on his hipbone, but the darkness still stains everything in his mind. "Every time it happens, I'm in the darkness and the cold and I think, I've always been down there, that everything after wasn't real, and there's no wardens, no Justice, no you." His voice breaks on the last word.  
Hawke nuzzles at his forehead. "I'm here." He's warm and solid and so very real, and Anders curls into him.  
Anders tilts his face up and kisses Hawke, feeling the other man's close-cropped beard brush against his cheeks and mouth. Hawke's full lips are warm and soft against him, and Hawke deepens the kiss tenderly, pushing his tongue against Anders's mouth. The kiss is warmth and company and safety, everything Anders has been missing before now. When they part, Anders closes his eyes, and rests his forehead against Hawke's, focusing on Hawke's fingers on his jaw.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be making you deal with this."  
Hawke takes his hand, and squeezes tightly. "Don't be ridiculous. Anders. I never thought I'd have love like this, that I'd have someone I could trust so much. I can live with this happening if it means we're together."  
Anders opens his eyes, and gazes up at Hawke. He can't speak, too choked up with tears and love to do it.  
"Do you need anything else? Need to eat?"  
Anders shakes his head. "I just want to sleep." He's tired, so tired.  
Hawke pulls him close and pulls the covers up over their heads. Anders moves to rest his head against the smaller man's chest. As he snuggles closer into Hawke's embrace, into the warmth and scent he's already begun to associate with safety, with home, the awful coiled tension that's always present in his core relaxes a fraction.  
"Go to sleep, Anders. I've got you," Hawke murmurs into his hair, and Anders, drifting exhausted in warmth, believes him.

Anders wakes, disoriented. It takes him a moment to recognize the dimly lit canopy of Hawke's bed. He rolls over to try to get some more sleep, when he hears the noise that had must have woken him. It's a whimper.  
"Hawke?" Hawke doesn't respond, but he whimpers again.  
"Hawke!" Anders summons a wisplight and leans over Hawke. Hawke's entire form is tense, sweat beading his brown skin, eyes screwed up. Anders grabs his shoulder "Hawke, can you hear me?"  
Hawke bolts upright, and screams, an awful, heartrending sound. His eyes are open, but unseeing. Anders grabs Hawke, pulling him into an embrace. Hawke is trembling and tense, and his body is cold under the sweat.  
"Hawke. Please. Wake up." Anders keeps his voice as steady as he can, but it's so hard, when he can't seem to reach Hawke. Hawke screams again. His body is still completely stiff, not responding to Anders' touch.  
"Hawke." He shakes him. "Hawke, wake up. Please."  
Hawke slumps into Anders' arms, and takes a deep shuddering breath. "Anders...?" Anders reaches down and takes Hawke's hand, entwining their fingers. Hawke grips it tightly.  
"I'm here, Hawke. Breathe, breathe." Hawke has had these night terrors for as long as Anders has been with him, and he's said he's had them even before, but they've gotten worse in the months since Leandra's death and the duel with the Arishok. Most nights now, it's a gamble which of them wakes up screaming first. Hawke burrows his face into Anders' chest, nuzzling at him. His breathing is still uneven and jerky. Anders can feel the tension in Hawke's body, and he reaches to Hawke's broad shoulders and rubs them, working at the hardened, knotted muscles. Hawke sighs, his eyelids fluttering and lips parting.  
"Shhhhh, love, just relax." Anders digs his thumbs into the tension in Hawke's shoulders, working from the outside of Hawke's shoulders until his hands meet over Hawke's spine, channeling heat magic into the worst knots. Hawke moans softly as his muscles relax and he melts up against Anders.  
"Thank you. That feels...so much better."  
Anders kisses Hawke's forehead, and runs his fingers through dense, soft curls. "You're safe, Hawke. I'll keep you safe. I'd do anything you want."  
Hawke blinks sleepily up at him, and smiles. "I know."  
Abomination pads across the floor, rests his head on the bed, and whuffs curiously. Hawke laughs, and reaches over to pet the mabari's ears, "Yes, I know, you're looking after me too." The dog wags his stubby tail, and then jumps onto the bed. Hawke laughs again, and Anders curses quietly and pulls his feet out of the way as Abomination curls into the tiniest ball he can manage.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Hawke is still scratching Abomination on the head, and Anders thinks he won't answer.  
Hawke sighs. "There's really nothing to say. It's the Arishok again, and he wants me dead, and in that moment I can't remember that I'm the one who killed him, and I'm convinced this time, I'm going to die."  
Anders reaches over to embrace Hawke. "Well, it's hard to believe that you'd fail to kill someone you wanted dead."  
That coaxes a smirk from Hawke, and Anders smiles back. "And I'll protect you, anyways. I would never let anyone get to you." I'd die first, he thinks but doesn't say. Hawke makes a soft confirmatory noise. He's beautiful, even bedraggled from sleep and dimly lit from the fire, and Anders holds him tighter. "I love you."  
"I love you too." Hawke is mumbling now, his eyelids fluttering shut. "I love you so much, Anders." He yawns widely, and Anders smiles and pulls the blankets up over them, keeping Hawke's head resting on his chest. Hawke turns his head, nuzzling and then kissing Anders' collarbone. His head fits perfectly into the crook of Anders' neck, and his hair tickles Anders' chin. Anders takes Hawke's hand, and wraps his other arm snugly around Hawke.  
"Can you sleep now?"  
Hawke nods, obviously exhausted, and squeezes Anders' hand. Anders kisses Hawke's curls again, and lets his eyes slip closed. The two of them drift back into sleep, safe in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> The Hawke in this is specifically my oc Hawke Damien  
> Title and desc from the ghosts that haunt me, by the Crash test Dummies


End file.
